Posts by Reopened Mind

30

To Attend or Not Attend JW Relative Funeral - Experiences You've Had ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

i was moved to put this thread out after talking to a board member here who was treated very disrespectfully from her jw family after her own husband died.

my question isn't trying to pigeonhole anybody or i'm not saying there's a right or wrong answer - the question is designed to just openly discuss the negatives and positives of going to a jw funeral or not, and the implications or ramifications for doing so or not.. i believe it's definitely a personal decision based on different circumstances for each individual.

for example : let's say a person is an inactive jw and they were sexually abused or treated in other inhumane ways by still active jw relatives .

Reopened Mind

Hello, the wife of TotallyADD checking in here.

Thank you to ziddina and flipper for your comments concerning my MIL. When TotallyADD's dad was alive he was able to keep her under control much of the time. Being an elder helped. But when he died we were left to "handle" her as she lived next door to us. As TotallyAdd said the elders in the local congregation sided with her. I called the police when she attacked me. They told me I could press charges and if I did they would take her to jail. I did not think that would help her at all so I declined. They then suggested we go to the courthouse and file ex parte papers so she could be evaluated. So we did. She was taken involuntarily to the nearest facility and released the next day, finding nothing wrong with her. We were flabbergasted!!

zid, you are right. My MIL does have a mental disease but because of cult induced fear of psychologists she would not get a proper diagnosis. Her doctor told TotallyADD she could not diagnose but was pretty sure the woman suffered from paranoid schizophrenia. I did find a mental health facility that would admit her but she would have to come in voluntarily. That just isn't going to happen.

flipper, we, too, noticed the effects of the increase of homeless, helpless people when Reagan decreed that people should "pull themselves up by their bootstraps". It has gotten so bad that one city in FL passed a law making it illegal to panhandle inside the city limits.

Would TotallyADD and I attend his mother's funeral? That's a question we still have to contend with as she is still alive. As of now we feel it would dredge up too many bad memories. There is no reason to honor her memory or face the ones in the congregation who turned against us even though at the time we were considered in good standing. I really don't know how they consider us now.

flipper I'm sorry for hijacking your thread.

Reopened Mind

22

I never thought I would

by Kool Jo in

well.....what can i say...after lurking and much research and eventual signing up on this forum...i filled out my fs report for april with average hours and magazines, but i never went out in the ministry.. it feels odd, and i feel bad for filling out time that i knew i never did...i hate the idea of going out to people's door and telling them a lie...not sure how much longer i can do this for .

just had to vent!.

peace.

Reopened Mind

They want you to feel guilty about not doing their brand of ministry. I agree with OnTheWayOut. Your ministry is personal. The WT has been lying to you and lying to the public, calling it "Theocratic Warfare". You are beating them at their own game.

The most effective tools a cult has are FEAR AND GUILT. Make no mistake, the WT is a cult. So come here and vent. It will help you lessen the fear and guilt the WT has been laying on you.

Posting here is a form of ministry. My dictionary says that minister is to give aid or service. You are aiding and serving others by sharing your story.

Reopened Mind

65

A Brother Died At Bethel

by MrFreeze in

jw
friends

i got a text from my mom when i got into work today saying that a brother i've known for a while had died.

he was a bethelite and they found him dead in his room.

he was the same age as me.

Reopened Mind

Deepest symapthies from TotallyADD and Reopened Mind.

32

If the Watch Tower Society discontinued shunning.... new survey!!

by cedars in

i'm pleased to announce that juan viejo2 has launched a new mini-survey on jwsurvey.org.

the survey tackles the premise that the society might one day abandon shunning (at least between family members) and asks: what effect might this have on us?.

the survey is primarily targeted at df'd/da'd and active jws, although there is one question applicable to all, which asks simply whether you agree with the practice of shunning.. there are only a handful of questions, so if you feel inclined, please do visit and take the survey on the link below:.

Reopened Mind

cedars,

I looked at your survey regarding shunning. I am neither an active Witness nor DF/DA. Therefore I did not answer any questions as I felt it did not pertain to me. I do agree with the above posters who say the Society will never do away with shunning. Shunning those who leave and instilling fear into those who stay is a powerful tool to keep the flock in line. I must say I was a good JW while in and communicating with someone who left had no bearing on my leaving. What began my awakening was an article in our local newspaper, then looking up an internet site, and reading, reading, reading.

When our oldest son was 18 and still living at home he was disfellowshipped for what would be considered by any non cult member as normal teenage stuff. His father, an elder at the time, and I would talk to him about anything not related to Watchtower land. He was reinstated a year later and has since left. He confessed he knew then there was no holy spirit guiding the elders on his committee because they would not believe him when he told them the truth.

TotallyADD and I moved 1000 miles away to fade from the clutches of the WT. Although there is an active congregation in this town we have not been contacted in the year we have lived here. Maybe they're not that active after all. We do live on the outer fringes of their territory.

Reopened Mind

52

cowboy films.

by bigmac in

jw
friends

some of us uk members of a certain age really enjoy cowboy films.. what was your most favourite cowboy film of all time?.

mine was on tv again today-----.

---- the magnificent seven.

Reopened Mind

My favorite cowboy movie is "Dances With Wolves", especially the four hour version.

I named a dog Sisko after the horse in the movie and a cat Two Socks after the wolf in "Dances With Wolves". Next month Two Socks will be 23 years old. Sisko, being a rottie only lived to 14 years of age.

Reopened Mind

56

5/15 WT - WT Society Displays Condescending Attitude towards Marriage

by flipper in

jw
friends

as most of us know the wt society has always claimed that it's dissapproved in god's sight to marry a non-jw .

although they've never made it a disfellowshipping offense, any jw who marries outside the jw organization is looked at as " weak " or lacking " spirituality " and loses certain alleged " privileges " in the congregations.

they use scriptures in the old testament as support for this.

Reopened Mind

TotallyADD and I dated according to all the WT rules, including being chaperoned during our courtship, then we were married in a kingdom hall. We raised our two boys in the organization. Were we happy? Not really, the WT kept us too busy to notice whether we were getting what we needed for our own happiness. Now that we have both left together we find we are freer to express what we really feel. We have drawn closer together as we discover our authentic selves. My life is so much better now that I am married to someone who is not a WT drone. TotallyADD and I just passed 38 years together March 23.

Reopened Mind

79

What does your profile name say about you?

by usualusername in

jw
friends

i use usualusername as i am not creative enough to think of anything sexier.... .

what significance is there behind your profile name?.

.

Reopened Mind

I closed my mind when I joined the WT. Sites like AJWRB.org, freeminds.org, jwfacts.com, and of course JWN have helped me reopen my mind.

Reopened Mind

31

Be a part of research about leaving the JWs...

by TerriO in

jw
friends

hi guys,.

some of you may remember me, i've been on here before in the past and been about on the exjws forums on and off for about 7 years now.

you've probably also seen me advertising the xjw meet ups in london as well..... :-).

Reopened Mind

I was happy to participate in your survey TerriO.

Thanks to JamieBowers for making the link clickable.

Reopened Mind

41

Tomorrow is a big day for me

by coffee_black in

jw
friends

i will be 60 tomorrow.

on the one hand, it's just a number.

on the other hand, it's a big number.... .

Reopened Mind

CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE! Dance to the music!

Congratulations for making it to 60. Congratulations for escaping the WT. You deserve to have a wonderful day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY and many more.

Reopened Mind

33

When Someone You Love Is Removed As An Elder!

by Bubblegum Apotheosis in

jw
friends

last week we lost a wonderful elder (removed, stepped down is what i will believe) , this man was as real, as you can get.

he loved the sheep,.

his eternal optimism of humanity is a rare quality in the jw religion.

Reopened Mind

Nugget, what you said really resonates with TotallyADD and me. We experienced similar when he decideda to resign as an elder. There were those who wanted him to remain an elder, but I suspect it was because he was one who would willingly take parts when others were sick, spearhead the remodeling of a woefully neglected hall, help with repair of elderly sisters' houses, serve in any position, not to mention his regularly taking the lead in field service. When hurricanes threatened he called everyone to make sure they had a safe place to stay. Like your husband when he stepped down there was no appreciation for his faithfulness through the years. It is so true what you said, "a bad elder with influence can accomplish more than a good one with principles."

truthseeker1969, please don't make a blanket judgment of all elders. There are good ones. Unfortunately they get chewed up and spit out by the organization. Often they leave due to burn out or frustration. In my 40 years in the organization I have known elders on all points of the sprectrum.

Reopened Mind